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By: Sara J Gamble
Hear. Me. Out. Before. You. Judge.
I was not at all thinking so dumpy two-line generic email that I would copy and paste into every email only making a few tweaks. I am talking about a nicely written email that you take time to compose, and then you attach a few photos - not of you and your spouse - of your guest at the wedding.
During the course of our wedding, I wrote over 300 thank you cards....I had the shower, the wedding itself and then various thank you’s for the people who helped us out along the way. By the end of it, my mind was fried.
I thought to myself there must be a better way than doing this all by hand and poof...this idea came up. Of course, not everyone would get an email I would have to decide, but then I would have to make sure everyone in the same group of people would get one and so on and so on. Until it got a little to complex.
I figured it would be easy to break up the groups...my tech-savy friends would get the email, older family and friends would get a postal hand-written note and then I would figure the rest out by going group-to group and person-to-person. But then I thought, what if an email person talks to a hand-written person and the other gets mad. Ugh.
I decided to take my thoughts to the polls and got some very interesting responses. I asked on my Facebook “Would you be okay with a personalized email or greeting card over a normally expected posted letter?” and here are some of the responses...
Kristen: Most definitely! I like paperless post myself. Why spend the extra $$$ on snail mail?? I think bride and groom would be more willing to get them done too.
Amanda: email or e-card would be awesome! My hand always hurts from writing.
Kati: I think email is a little impersonal when it comes to Thank You notes. Take a little time to make someone feel appreciated and important! Everything is electronic these days! It's nice to get something personal and hand written in the mailbox.
Melissa: no way, if i take the time to buy your gift, I'd like you to take the time to write me a note...yes it will go in the trash, but i think it's necessary.
Still unsatisfied with my friends answers I was determined to find more people who agreed with me. I posted a note on The Knot’s community board and after 80+ comments not ONE person said it was a good idea. One person did say that with everything moving towards digital this is a possibility in the future...it just hasn’t happened yet.
So in the spirit of being proved completely wrong... I decided to share some tips with you on how-to make the process easier and more personal.
- You have 3-6 months to send the thank you’s out.
- If you are ordering personalized cards either do it BEFORE the wedding or if you are incorporating a photo from the wedding, let your photographer know you need a photo ASAP and then order the cards right after. Also, make sure to order cards that include envelopes.
- Start writing them right away. If you do 3-5 a night and you have 200 to write you should be able to finish in 2-3 months.
- Split the duties. If one person is writing the actual card out...give your significant other a different duty like ordering the address labels and then writing addresses on the envelopes.
- Speaking of addresses we had a couple people who were apartment jumpers on our list. So before you send out the thank you’s...be sure to double check to make sure the person hasn’t moved.
Hope this article helps you. I wish I had listened to myself and started writing right away. I’m the moron who crammed 200 thank you’s into....2 weeks. But alas, I finished and got them out in the deadline I set for myself.
In conclusion I think this...always be a grateful host. I am extremely thankful for all the people who helped me with the wedding and our attendants and while I am all about digital communication, I am happy to know that the people I appreciated so much...knew how I felt.
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Got something you want to read about or a question about a situation you're in the middle of and need an honest answer? Feel free to email me at BeforeIDo@haleymadisonmag.com with the appropriate subject line, even if I don't write about it I promise I will get back to you one way or another!
Follow this column on Twitter > @BeforeIDo_HMM
Follow me > @saraxj
Do you crave a daily dose of wedding advice? Check out my new daily blog to help you with each and every need. www.dailydoseofwedding.com
Got something you want to read about or a question about a situation you're in the middle of and need an honest answer? Feel free to email me at BeforeIDo@haleymadisonmag.com with the appropriate subject line, even if I don't write about it I promise I will get back to you one way or another!
Follow this column on Twitter > @BeforeIDo_HMM
Follow me > @saraxj
Do you crave a daily dose of wedding advice? Check out my new daily blog to help you with each and every need. www.dailydoseofwedding.com
JANUARY 2011-- Thank You Notes: A Lost Art Finding New Life
When I sought out to write this article I was hoping to find more people who found electronic thank you’s acceptable - in this day and age where e-communication rules, I have discovered that people still prefer the older, more traditional way of saying “thank you.”
I thought more people would be open to this; however, I realized after much polling and research that this current generation and group of people still want to receive that hand-written thank you that comes via post. Personally, I am completely submerged in the online communications life...I love GMAIL, constantly check my Facebook, enjoy Twitter every now and then and am completely dependent on my BlackBerry, so why not figure out a way to intertwine the old (hand-written) and the new (e-cards).
before I do.