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At some point after the initial "Oh my God, we're engaged!" you will have to seriously start to consider who you would like to be apart of your bridal party...or if you're like me - you started pre-engagement, because they will be the people for whom you will have to count on the most - besides your significant other - for opinions, to keep you in check and to just be there when you need them. For me, most of the girls I chose as my BMs (see the abbreviation key below) were easy, sister, cousin, sister-in-law -- easy, right? But the rest of the girls were a little more difficult and I had to really sit down and review over and over...and over again who I really thought would blend well together.
When I started thinking about it, I thought it was best to break it down and put into an excel sheet (FYI - I use excel...A LOT) everyone who I thought I may or may not want as a bridesmaid and slowly but surely deleted off - oh jeez that sounds terrible, hm...I eliminated, no I narrowed it down to the girls I truly believed would be the best 8 girls...and then Jason handed me his list of 10, so I had to go back and add 2 more.
Looking back over this whole process and now 3 months until the wedding I think you need to keep the following few things in mind when deciding to definitely add a BM (and MOH).
- Can you trust this person to be honest with you, even when you probably don't want to hear it?
- Do you think they really will want to be in it or will say "yes" to be nice?
- Will your other bridesmaids be able to rely on them?
It's something to really think long and hard about because you are not the only person they will have to work with on many different things. You need to be sure these girls will be honest with you and not agree with you on something just to do it, for example, choosing their dresses. It would be a disservice to you and them if to your face they loved it and turn around and bad mouth it. More importantly, you have to remember this person is someone whom the other BMs will have to rely on. There's nothing worse than a person who won't return phone calls about the money for the shower or drops the ball on the cake, because in the end the BMs will resent you for having such a lousy friend (haha).
But lastly, don't let other people influence you on who to chose. You should never feel obligated or pressured into adding someone because someone else thinks you should. It is your day and you don't owe anyone anything. So make sure to stay confident and strong in your choices because if you let others run your wedding day, it won't be that special to you anymore.
Abbreviation breakdown:
BM(s) - bridesmaid(s)
GM(s) - groomsman/men
MOH - maid/matron of honor
BMan - best man
FOB - father of the bride
FOG - father of the groom
MOB - mother of the bride
MOG - mother of the groom
STD - save-the-date(s)
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Got something you want to read about or a question about a situation you're in the middle of and need an honest answer? Feel free to email me at BeforeIDo@haleymadisonmag.com with the appropriate subject line, even if I don't write about it I promise I will get back to you one way or another!
Follow this column on Twitter > @BeforeIDo_HMM
Follow me > @saraxj
When I started thinking about it, I thought it was best to break it down and put into an excel sheet (FYI - I use excel...A LOT) everyone who I thought I may or may not want as a bridesmaid and slowly but surely deleted off - oh jeez that sounds terrible, hm...I eliminated, no I narrowed it down to the girls I truly believed would be the best 8 girls...and then Jason handed me his list of 10, so I had to go back and add 2 more.
Looking back over this whole process and now 3 months until the wedding I think you need to keep the following few things in mind when deciding to definitely add a BM (and MOH).
- Can you trust this person to be honest with you, even when you probably don't want to hear it?
- Do you think they really will want to be in it or will say "yes" to be nice?
- Will your other bridesmaids be able to rely on them?
It's something to really think long and hard about because you are not the only person they will have to work with on many different things. You need to be sure these girls will be honest with you and not agree with you on something just to do it, for example, choosing their dresses. It would be a disservice to you and them if to your face they loved it and turn around and bad mouth it. More importantly, you have to remember this person is someone whom the other BMs will have to rely on. There's nothing worse than a person who won't return phone calls about the money for the shower or drops the ball on the cake, because in the end the BMs will resent you for having such a lousy friend (haha).
But lastly, don't let other people influence you on who to chose. You should never feel obligated or pressured into adding someone because someone else thinks you should. It is your day and you don't owe anyone anything. So make sure to stay confident and strong in your choices because if you let others run your wedding day, it won't be that special to you anymore.
Abbreviation breakdown:
BM(s) - bridesmaid(s)
GM(s) - groomsman/men
MOH - maid/matron of honor
BMan - best man
FOB - father of the bride
FOG - father of the groom
MOB - mother of the bride
MOG - mother of the groom
STD - save-the-date(s)
---
Got something you want to read about or a question about a situation you're in the middle of and need an honest answer? Feel free to email me at BeforeIDo@haleymadisonmag.com with the appropriate subject line, even if I don't write about it I promise I will get back to you one way or another!
Follow this column on Twitter > @BeforeIDo_HMM
Follow me > @saraxj
FEBRUARY-- The Bridal Party: Bridesmaids
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By: Sara J Gamble
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