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By: Sara J Gamble
before I do.
1- Your choice is wedding gown(s)
Quite obviously the clear choice; however, you would be surprised how many women later on in the wedding process and after the wedding, regret their choice in dress. Of all the things you may have to compromise, be flexible to and please others...this is not the area. It's *your dress* and you will be wearing it all day, so while the opinions of others should be noted -it should ultimately be your decision. After originally going with SIX people,I found my gown by myself. I valued the opinions of the women I was with, but I knew I just had to listen to me. Be sure to be 100% on board with the dress you chose because cancellation and purchasing a new one, can be extremely pricey.
2- Not getting enough time with your husband/wife
I never realized how important this was until the actual night of my wedding; however, a text my from cousin a few days prior turned out to be a lifesaver. It seems like such a small thing "spend time with each other" - but your reception is nothing less than a whirlwind experience. Make sure to discuss this beforehand because the other person may be on a different page. A close friend mentioned after her wedding how her and her husband spent less than an hour together and I could hear it in her voice how it upset her. Don't let this happen to you! Make sure to talk to your photographer and get the main pictures out of the way. Be sure to spend most of the reception dancing with your new spouse, it's something you'll treasure when it's over.
3- Your choice photographer... the photographs
Only 2nd to the dress, I truly believe the photographs are one of the most important aspects of your wedding. If you get a wedding video you will watch it immediately, and then probably again on your 1st anniversary - but after that, who is to say? The photographs will be the staple throughout your home and etched in your memory as a constant reminder of the day. You want to be able to pick not only a person you can be straight forward with - but someone who you will be able to be comfortable with on the day of. I got very lucky that my photographer listened to what I wanted exactly with an end result of phenomenal photos (kudos to Lewis Rinaman Photography www.lrphotography.com). I have some friends who weren't so lucky and later regretted their choice. This is definitely a decision you should NOT make lightly or out of obligation.
4 -To serve you
It's a small thing...and I bet you didn't think of it? But you know when you have terrible service at a restaurant, you skim them in the tip - and you move on? When you have bad servers at your wedding it's a hundred times worse, caught on video and camera and instilled in the minds of your guests. More than likely, you will be able to tell immediately if you will like the person who will help coordinate at the reception site. Rule #1, if you cannot stand them more than likely it will cause more grief than good and it may not be the choice for you. I immediately fell in love with Patricia who was with me every step of the way. She answered emails within 24 hours and always called me back the same day. I found someone who was easy to talk to, never made my questions feel stupid and dealt with my extremely long lists - yes lists - of questions. On the actual day of I had a woman "assigned" to me who literally got me anything I needed. I said I was thirsty and a few moments later I had a bottle of water in my hand. The best was, during the reception, she would find my husband and I on the dance floor to see if we were okay. Going into the day I would have never thought about it, but now that the wedding day is behind me - the service made it so much better.
5 - To argue or not to argue?
More than likely, this will be something that will be difficult to prevent while in the midst of your planning because you are in a completely different zone. Looking back, there were a couple of arguments I wish I would have avoided or at least taken a step back and said 'is this worth it;" however, I managed to handle most of the "end of the world crisis's" as best I could. Although with every event in your life there is some loss, and I unfortunately no longer am friends with a person due to what can only be described as a misunderstanding that went to far. Here a few tips to avoid this happening to you: 1 - Before saying anything you may regret, take a step back and breathe. If you are sending an email or writing a text/IM - save it as a draft and come back to it in a few hours. You may come back to the situation and be like whoa, this could be said better. 2 - See all the facts before bringing something that is annoying you up. You may think your bridesmaid is being unreasonable for refusing to pay for a $200 dress and $100 shoes, but looking at the whole picture - like her financial situation, and that may bring it all in. Above anything else, just be sure to THINK before you SPEAK...you can never unring that bell.
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Got something you want to read about or a question about a situation you're in the middle of and need an honest answer? Feel free to email me at BeforeIDo@haleymadisonmag.com with the appropriate subject line, even if I don't write about it I promise I will get back to you one way or another!
Follow this column on Twitter > @BeforeIDo_HMM
Follow me > @saraxj
Quite obviously the clear choice; however, you would be surprised how many women later on in the wedding process and after the wedding, regret their choice in dress. Of all the things you may have to compromise, be flexible to and please others...this is not the area. It's *your dress* and you will be wearing it all day, so while the opinions of others should be noted -it should ultimately be your decision. After originally going with SIX people,I found my gown by myself. I valued the opinions of the women I was with, but I knew I just had to listen to me. Be sure to be 100% on board with the dress you chose because cancellation and purchasing a new one, can be extremely pricey.
2- Not getting enough time with your husband/wife
I never realized how important this was until the actual night of my wedding; however, a text my from cousin a few days prior turned out to be a lifesaver. It seems like such a small thing "spend time with each other" - but your reception is nothing less than a whirlwind experience. Make sure to discuss this beforehand because the other person may be on a different page. A close friend mentioned after her wedding how her and her husband spent less than an hour together and I could hear it in her voice how it upset her. Don't let this happen to you! Make sure to talk to your photographer and get the main pictures out of the way. Be sure to spend most of the reception dancing with your new spouse, it's something you'll treasure when it's over.
3- Your choice photographer... the photographs
Only 2nd to the dress, I truly believe the photographs are one of the most important aspects of your wedding. If you get a wedding video you will watch it immediately, and then probably again on your 1st anniversary - but after that, who is to say? The photographs will be the staple throughout your home and etched in your memory as a constant reminder of the day. You want to be able to pick not only a person you can be straight forward with - but someone who you will be able to be comfortable with on the day of. I got very lucky that my photographer listened to what I wanted exactly with an end result of phenomenal photos (kudos to Lewis Rinaman Photography www.lrphotography.com). I have some friends who weren't so lucky and later regretted their choice. This is definitely a decision you should NOT make lightly or out of obligation.
4 -To serve you
It's a small thing...and I bet you didn't think of it? But you know when you have terrible service at a restaurant, you skim them in the tip - and you move on? When you have bad servers at your wedding it's a hundred times worse, caught on video and camera and instilled in the minds of your guests. More than likely, you will be able to tell immediately if you will like the person who will help coordinate at the reception site. Rule #1, if you cannot stand them more than likely it will cause more grief than good and it may not be the choice for you. I immediately fell in love with Patricia who was with me every step of the way. She answered emails within 24 hours and always called me back the same day. I found someone who was easy to talk to, never made my questions feel stupid and dealt with my extremely long lists - yes lists - of questions. On the actual day of I had a woman "assigned" to me who literally got me anything I needed. I said I was thirsty and a few moments later I had a bottle of water in my hand. The best was, during the reception, she would find my husband and I on the dance floor to see if we were okay. Going into the day I would have never thought about it, but now that the wedding day is behind me - the service made it so much better.
5 - To argue or not to argue?
More than likely, this will be something that will be difficult to prevent while in the midst of your planning because you are in a completely different zone. Looking back, there were a couple of arguments I wish I would have avoided or at least taken a step back and said 'is this worth it;" however, I managed to handle most of the "end of the world crisis's" as best I could. Although with every event in your life there is some loss, and I unfortunately no longer am friends with a person due to what can only be described as a misunderstanding that went to far. Here a few tips to avoid this happening to you: 1 - Before saying anything you may regret, take a step back and breathe. If you are sending an email or writing a text/IM - save it as a draft and come back to it in a few hours. You may come back to the situation and be like whoa, this could be said better. 2 - See all the facts before bringing something that is annoying you up. You may think your bridesmaid is being unreasonable for refusing to pay for a $200 dress and $100 shoes, but looking at the whole picture - like her financial situation, and that may bring it all in. Above anything else, just be sure to THINK before you SPEAK...you can never unring that bell.
---
Got something you want to read about or a question about a situation you're in the middle of and need an honest answer? Feel free to email me at BeforeIDo@haleymadisonmag.com with the appropriate subject line, even if I don't write about it I promise I will get back to you one way or another!
Follow this column on Twitter > @BeforeIDo_HMM
Follow me > @saraxj
NOVEMBER-- Regretfully Over
You wake up the day after your wedding and how do you feel? Relieved? Sad? Excited? Of all the emotions you will be feeling - what I've realized is that you do NOT want to feel regret. Sure, there are somethings that will have been beyond your control or on the scale of things, not that bad; but after talking to brides - and have experienced the "day of" myself...I've narrowed it down to the top 5 things that shouldn't be something you regret when you look back at your wedding. Hopefully you can learn from the brides who have come before you and have a fabulous and regret-free wedding.